On January 15th, Hani, a former EXID member, had a talk on the YouTube channel “Sebasi Talk.”
Hani decided to talk about “charm” and said, “I think my charm was that I worked hard to achieve something, for example I take care of my skin, push my legs with a beer bottle every night (to make it slim). I read brand history and fashion-related books while carrying dictionaries. I tried so hard and it did come to a moment when my hard work paid off,” she said, recalling the “Up&Down” reversed rankings on charts in the past.
“One day I closed my eyes and when I opened them, the world changed 180 degrees. Everyone recognized me and we won first place in music programs. My dream came true all of a sudden,” Hani said. “But what’s so strange is that people finally recognized me, but when I saw me, I was just the same. I’m not good enough. I’m not as attractive as ever.”
Hani said, “It was so hard for me to use social media at the time. Because there are so many charming people on social media. I compared them to myself, blamed myself, and it whipped me,” adding, “I didn’t know that my heart was struggling at the time. One day, I suddenly realized I was unhappy while taking a shower. I was so sure that I wouldn’t be happy in the future. So I was so scared.”
After the expiration of her exclusive contract, she decided to stop everything for a while. Hani recklessly carried her backpack and went traveling. She said, “I was nervous and afraid at the time. There was nothing set about the future. I lost something and I thought the most important thing was to find it.” “That’s how my active wandering began,” she said. “At first, I went to Greece. But I couldn’t stay in one cafe for more than 20 minutes. I felt like I had to do something. I didn’t see anything else until about two weeks later.”
Hani decided to look for stability and live the life she wants. She said that she joined a group where they talked about each other while keeping her age and job secret. Hani recalled, “Actually, I had a sense of victimization at that time. People always want me to be perfect, so I have to be good at everything. I had a sense of victimization because people only see me as a prize. I actually wanted to force myself to do it,” and added, “But people there (the group) were having similar concerns as me. Strangely, that really comforted me.”
“With this new perspective, I can feel that it’s not that I am not good enough now. I am much happier than before,” Hani said and everyone applauded. Hani shed tears, saying, “It’s so touching.” Yang Jae-woong, Hani’s boyfriend, also applauded while watching the talk.
Source: Sports Chosun
