“I don’t want to pass on my feelings about their father to my child.”
This one sentence, recently spoken by actress Jo Yoon Hee on a broadcast, touched the hearts of many divorced parents.
In 2020, she divorced actor Lee Dong Gun but emphasized that she wanted to preserve the bond between their daughter, Roa, and her father. “Roa is a child who receives a lot of love from her dad. I support their meetings,” she said, showing a mature perspective that placed her role as a parent above personal conflicts.
Too often after divorce, negative emotions toward an ex-spouse spill over onto the child.
Phrases like, “Don’t talk about your dad,” or “Your father made our lives difficult,” may provide momentary release for the parent, but they leave lasting scars on the child. The burden of parental conflict falls unfairly on young shoulders. Jo Yoon Hee chose a different path—focusing not on her own pain, but on ensuring her child grows up feeling loved. Her actions demonstrate that while the marital bond may end, the parental bond cannot.
So, how can divorced parents continue to fulfill their roles responsibly?
First, refrain from speaking ill of the other parent in front of the child. Handling emotions is the responsibility of adults. Every child has the right to be respected and loved by both parents.
Second, acknowledge the co-parent’s role. Legally the marriage may be over, but parental responsibility remains. For a child’s healthy development, both mother and father are essential figures.
Third, see things from the child’s perspective. Parents should ask themselves: “Am I passing down my unresolved emotions, or am I leaving my child with happiness?” The child’s stability must come before one’s own wounds.
Of course, this isn’t easy. Hearing an ex-spouse’s name might still bring anger. In such moments, professional counseling or family mediation programs can be helpful. While Jo Yoon Hee’s approach may seem ideal, no one achieves perfection immediately—the key is the willingness to try.
Ultimately, what children need is not parental conflict but parental commitment. Jo Yoon Hee’s attitude leaves us with a question worth reflecting on: “What emotions am I passing down to my child right now?”
When parents pause to consider this, they can take one step closer to true maturity.
Sources: Daum
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